Cheaters

I'm getting back to my research on cheating, at the behest of my patient co-author. Time magazine had a write up of some new research presented at the American Sociological Association's annual meetings by Christin Munsch. Here is a blurb from her website:

Study 2, uses panel data from the 1997 National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (NLSY97) to examine the role of economic dependency on infidelity. I argue that, for men, making less money than a female partner may threaten men’s gender identity by calling into question the traditional notion of men as breadwinners. I find that economically dependent men are more likely to engage in infidelity, although this relationship disappears once individual and institutional mechanisms are controlled. I also find that the more economically dependent a man’s female partner is on him, the more likely he is to engage in infidelity.

More Misc Links

Here are some more miscellaneous good links from my new favorite blog:

1. Apparently I should stop being such a "debbie downer", it doesn't pass cost benefit analysis.

2. Turns out others might know you better than you know yourself. For my BUS 230 students what does this imply for surveys that require self reporting of intended behaviors?

3. So it looks like I'll need to incorporate this into my extra-marital sex paper. Keeping a romance secret doesn't make it more exciting.

4. What distinguishes women who have had a lot of sexual partners? Not childhood, attractiveness, or other "mate value" related things. They are just more like men in certain domains.

5. In a relationship, but want to boost your testosterone? Look to cheat.

Infidelity

I'm working on finishing a paper to be presented at the WEAI at the end of June. The chart below is the proportion of ever married people that have responded yes to the following question: Have you ever had sex with someone other than your husband or wife while you were married?

The Game

Essence has an article based on a poll they conducted.

Infidelity by the Numbers
By Jeannine Amber


How many Black men say they’ve never cheated on a partner? Does he use a condom when he steps out on you? Where did he meet the other woman? In an unprecedented exploration of male infidelity, ESSENCE polled almost 25,000 Black men and women to get the answers to these questions and more. Here, the top ten most shocking stats our survey revealed:


WILL HE CHEAT?
Almost 70% of brothers think it’s possible for Black men to be monogamous. But only 35% of them say they’ve never cheated on a partner.


SAFE SEX ALERT!
53% of men and 41% of women say they “only sometimes” or “never” use protection when they cheat on their partner.


THE OTHER WOMEN
If your partner is cheating on you, chances are he’s juggling more than one woman! We asked unfaithful men how many women they’re currently involved with outside of their primary relationship. Here’s what they told us:
ONE WOMAN 47%
TWO TO FIVE 46%
MORE THAN FIVE 7%


TROUBLING FATHER FIGURES
More than 50% of men and women who responded to our survey say their fathers cheated.


WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING?
One in four men thinks having an intimate phone call with someone outside the relationship is okay. Only one in six women agrees.


WHERE DO MEN MEET THE OTHER WOMAN?
Respondents listed every location you could think of—including places that he goes with you:
online. . .at the club. . .at church. . .on vacation . . . at a party with my wife. . .at the grocery store. . .at a ball game. . . on the train. . .at my child’s football practice . . .while sitting in traffic. . .at my job. . .while we were both patients in the hospital.


NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE
Women are almost twice as likely as men to stay with their partner for more than a year after finding out he’s cheated.


WAS IT JUST SEX?
Coupled men and women admitted to being unfaithful in other ways than having intercourse with someone. 31% of men and 21% of women kissed someone other than their partner.
28% of men and 16% of women fondled someone else.
And 40% of men along with 30% of women had an intimate phone call or conversation with another person.


WHY HE CHEATS
Men were more than twice as likely as women to cite physical attraction as the number one reason for being unfaithful.
Women, on the other hand, are nearly three times as likely as men to step out on their partners as revenge
for being cheated on.


HOW DID CHEATERS GET CAUGHT?
27% of men who’ve stepped out said they were busted by their partner’s snooping.
17% said they confessed.
Some men said they were just plain sloppy:
“I gave her an STD.”
“She found a hickey on my neck.”
“I left the condom wrapper in my pocket and it came out in the wash.”
“I got a text message from the other woman while my girl was using my phone.”


Did He Step Out On You? Tell Us What Happened.
Only 13% of women ESSENCE surveyed had never had a partner cheat on them. Are you part of the 87% who have? Share your story of infidelity below.


For more of our exclusive study and interviews on why men cheat, pick up the October 2008 issue of ESSENCE.

Divorce

This Boston Globe article points to the chilling effect that Massachusetts case law has on marriage.  Of course the impact of making divorce more expensive may not only be to reduce the number of marriages it could also prevent divorce as well.  And thus the law will likely lead to more extra-marital sex.

FORGET KAFKA. Welcome to Massachusetts. In the 1980s, it was known as Taxachusetts. These days, it's known as the state whose divorce laws are so out of date that many people decide against marrying here - or marrying anyone anywhere whose alimony obligations originate here. I'm one of them. Two divorce lawyers tell me that the state's laws are so extreme they have "a chilling effect on marriage." Prenups offer no guarantees. Judges routinely ignore them.
more stories like this


Cathy Ortiz, a secretary in Fairhaven whose husband is out of work, was ordered in 2007 to make alimony payments from her own paycheck to his ex-wife - who has a full-time job with benefits. The husband, Ernest Ortiz, is suing the state, arguing that these laws are unconstitutional. Oral arguments were heard yesterday in Appeals Court.


Alimony law is largely case law, not statute. Many legislators are shocked to hear the feudal details, unique to Massachusetts. But not shocked enough to reform the law.


The laws are gender neutral, but the facts are not: 96 percent of alimony payers are men, who often must give 30 to 40 percent of gross earnings to educated and sometimes employed women. Alimony does not automatically end or decline at retirement, even after an ex-wife has gotten an equitable share of marital assets. This applies in no-fault divorces, to the middle-class, and to millionaires.


Alimony is usually ordered until the recipient dies or remarries, even for couples in their 30s and 40s. Judges who set time limits may be overruled on appeal. When children are involved, the court usually awards only child support, about 30 percent of a father's income, which ends when children turn 23. Then mothers frequently receive alimony at the same or higher levels, for life.

Honey Trapping

I should have titled this "Markets in Everything". Honey Trapping is a service provided to those who fear their SO will be unfaithful given the opportunity. This service, provides the opportunity in the form of a similarly attractive individual and records the results. Given my next big paper is on extramarital sex, this should have seemed an obvious business plan.
When Richard Martinez goes to a nightclub or bar, he often goes alone.

But the 38-year-old former RAF officer wastes no time in heading for a target -- a woman -- to flirt with and flatter.

Martinez will not try too hard, but will allow himself to be drawn into conversation and, if asked, will give out his phone number for a potential future date.

Martinez is a "honey trapper" -- or as he likes to call himself, an "integrity tester" -- one of a growing team of private detectives who are hired by wives, husbands or partners to test the loyalty of their loved ones.

"It's growing all the time," he says of his business, the Expedite Detective Agency (www.ex-da.com), which charges 300 pounds ($588) for an integrity test on a potential cheat.

Martinez refutes accusations of marriage-wrecking, arguing that his customers come to him when they are already concerned about their partner's fidelity or when rumors have led them to suspect an affair. But he admits around 80 percent of targets fail the test and turn out to be ready and willing to cheat on a partner.

Martinez and his colleagues -- he has a team of male and female trappers, some more, some less attractive -- record the whole "hit" on audio and video, so that the customer can see for themselves how the evening develops.

And Martinez has "rules of engagement": The target must not be drunk, there must be no touching, and the relative attractiveness of the trapper to the target must be equal.

"It's got to be a fair test," he explains. "So we make sure that we don't set a very attractive honey trapper on a not so attractive target, and vice versa."

"The customer needs a fair answer to the question of whether their husband or girlfriend is loyal."

Martinez says that while many of his customers may end their relationships, other use the honey trap to confront unfaithful lovers and appeal to them to change their ways.